BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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