i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
