'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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