I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
