I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
