How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
