1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
The air was thick with penises
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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