K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
3pm strippers are depressing
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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