I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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