There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
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it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
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I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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