too bad you live with your parents still
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
