You really coming over, don't trick.
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
