When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
