It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
