I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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