And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize