R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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