We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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