When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Less talking, more tequila
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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