my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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