You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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