Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
