remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
