i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
