i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
