You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
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He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
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