when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
