There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize
