We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
