k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.