i would punch a child for taco bell
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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