my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked