His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?