The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?