Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight

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  (212): I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight http://tfl.nu/y0tm
  Replies (2) Good night (1065) Bad night (604)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.

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  (720): dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head. http://tfl.nu/xkz0
  Replies (91) Good night (2807) Bad night (1055)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.

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  (516): Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door. http://tfl.nu/5od7
  Replies (11) Good night (4395) Bad night (578)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense

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  (217): chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense http://tfl.nu/k4pe
  Replies (11) Good night (584) Bad night (2857)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick

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  (608): he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick http://tfl.nu/43v1
  Replies (17) Good night (5893) Bad night (1147)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.

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  (630): Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt. http://tfl.nu/hsva
  Replies (9) Good night (1456) Bad night (896)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina

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  (870): It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina http://tfl.nu/15cg
  Replies (31) Good night (3849) Bad night (1418)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.

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  (219): Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though. http://tfl.nu/18ka
  Replies (2) Good night (967) Bad night (674)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone

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  (512): I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone http://tfl.nu/z79l
  Replies (11) Good night (1776) Bad night (472)
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  (530): View more from California

  Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.

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  (530): Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life. http://tfl.nu/z2vn
  Replies (6) Good night (1852) Bad night (568)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.

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  (316): You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form. http://tfl.nu/cz7h
  Replies (1) Good night (600) Bad night (344)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.

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  (330): You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes. http://tfl.nu/v1u1
  Replies (2) Good night (859) Bad night (346)
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  (805): View more from California

  I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras

  (1-805): View more from California

  hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.

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  (805): I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras (1-805): hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five. http://tfl.nu/dvx9
  Replies (0) Good night (571) Bad night (298)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  Security deposit gone.

  (269): View more from Michigan

  burned down garage with fireworks.

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  (269): Security deposit gone. (269): burned down garage with fireworks. http://tfl.nu/rlam
  Replies (5) Good night (415) Bad night (732)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.

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  (956): Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair. http://tfl.nu/7p18
  Replies (1) Good night (488) Bad night (271)

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