BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.