Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk http://tfl.nu/57qd
  Replies (7) Good night (1850) Bad night (2008)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+ http://tfl.nu/62eq
  Replies (91) Good night (25360) Bad night (1228)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs. http://tfl.nu/sygp
  Replies (34) Good night (5773) Bad night (959)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (321): Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing. http://tfl.nu/gi7h
  Replies (14) Good night (1199) Bad night (4653)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video http://tfl.nu/x1wo
  Replies (9) Good night (1482) Bad night (810)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back? http://tfl.nu/7gwj
  Replies (5) Good night (1489) Bad night (799)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips http://tfl.nu/j5et
  Replies (4) Good night (1705) Bad night (782)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place. http://tfl.nu/k1hb
  Replies (30) Good night (1465) Bad night (2084)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  Maybe I'm a robot.

  (831): View more from California

  You can't be that drunk already

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): Maybe I'm a robot. (831): You can't be that drunk already http://tfl.nu/ekm7
  Replies (8) Good night (2273) Bad night (740)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians. http://tfl.nu/wcxi
  Replies (8) Good night (1703) Bad night (834)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (229): If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month. http://tfl.nu/wxst
  Replies (3) Good night (1046) Bad night (534)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl. http://tfl.nu/jncu
  Replies (3) Good night (829) Bad night (473)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (902): In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts. http://tfl.nu/zdfo
  Replies (3) Good night (1199) Bad night (400)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs. http://tfl.nu/ocpx
  Replies (6) Good night (743) Bad night (332)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (229): What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid? http://tfl.nu/caoi
  Replies (3) Good night (213) Bad night (291)

Randomize