I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Randomize
