is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
