Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
