did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
