I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
