Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
