Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
