I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
