He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm at about main and main street
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
