I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
