I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
