there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
