We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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