Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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