Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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