woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
