You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
