You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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