we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize