Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
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