ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
