I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
